Every term my writing group is given a topic/theme to write a short piece about, to be presented at the last session of the term. In December 2023 the topic was Great Expectations and this is what I wrote.
The past is memory. The future is hope.
But what about the present?
If our memories influence our present, the way we experience the world around us, then how do we tell the difference? What is memory and what is real?
For example,
My body knows her hands. It knows her mouth. It knows her smell. It knows the way she responds to my caress, and I to hers. It knows the places her fingers go. My fingers go with hers. We entwine to arouse each other, to open the way for the memories to satisfy.
But how long will my body remember? Will the memories fade? Will satisfaction become harder and harder to remember? When will it become a false memory? Is it already fake?
Is it just a dream? Is it all a dream?
Can I expect to be interrupted by the sound of Nick Robinson’s voice bringing me back to the present?
The leak of radioactive liquid from one of the “highest nuclear hazards in the UK” – a decaying building at the vast Cumbrian site – is likely to continue to 2050.
I can’t remember his voice. But I can hear his words. He wasn’t one to voice words of endearment. His body expressed those. We loved to argue, and then we loved to make up. I can hear his exhortations to be strong, to fight for what’s right, not to give up.
Tipping points in the Earth system pose threats of a magnitude never faced by humanity. They can trigger devastating domino effects, including the loss of whole ecosystems and capacity to grow staple crops, with societal impacts including mass displacement, political instability, and financial collapse. The tipping points at risk include the collapse of big ice sheets in Greenland and the West Antarctic, the widespread thawing of permafrost, the death of coral reefs in warm waters, and the collapse of one oceanic current in the North Atlantic.
But how long will I hear and take strength from his words? How do you not give up when the present is war, famine, pestilence, death. When the present is Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Libya, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria?
When the present is Ukraine.
Ukraine’s first lady, Olena Zelenska, has warned that Ukrainians are in “mortal danger” of being left to die.
When the present is Gaza.
António Guterres, the UN’s secretary general, told a meeting of the security council in New York: “We are at a breaking point. There is a high risk of a total collapse of the humanitarian system.” People are “desperate, fearful and angry” and are “looking into the abyss”.
If this is the present, what of the future? Can we even expect a future?
I curl up and close my eyes, willing myself to go back to my lovers, to shut out the present, to go back to a world of memories, hope and expectation.
Joan Twelves 